May 26th, 2010
Hey blog world,
Sometimes at Sideshow, we just want to sit around, ranting and raving about the injustices of the world. And by Sideshow, I mean me. Welcome to the first of my two part series – An Open Letter to the Cast of Saturday Night Live (Part 1). Or, as my fellow blogger Ms. Megan likes to call it – Matt Fletcher has a Rant.
I can’t help it. I’m overly opinionated and now the internet gives me the chance to voice all these crazy thoughts in my brain. Lucky you!
Dear Mr. Saturday Night Live,
It seems to me that you have the best job in the world.
You make a handsome living in one of the biggest cities in the world, entertaining millions on prime-time network TV, hanging with the major stars of the day, performing weekly with your friends in a now-legendary entertainment institution that is now one of the longest running television shows in history.
You are following in the footsteps of Bill Murray, Gilda Ratner, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers… the list goes on. You are living the dream. You are living your dream!
So why do you suck so badly at it?
How could you have forgotten what this show is about, what it showcases and what it’s supposed to do?
Why can’t you memorize your lines?
Acting 101, the basics, the one thing that every person alive knows that an actor is supposed to do: learn your lines.
I know, it’s hard. You have a week—a week—to put together an hour-and-a-half long comedy show, 10 minutes dedicated to some band I probably don’t care about, 20 minutes of which is occupied by commercials… That’s… what, an hour? Tops? Oh, and you’ll likely have some pre-recorded digital shorts, the host’s monologue, the host’s epilogue (which is, by the way, the most self-congratulatory, vomit-inducing piece of gluttonous trash on the air).
So that’s… maybe 40 minutes of material?
Do you ever watch soap operas? They know their lines. They get their script that morning! And their show goes up in less than a day! And that’s 45 minutes of…this.
SO WHY CAN’T YOU MEMORIZE YOUR LINES?
STAY TUNED for part 2, arriving at your fancy computer machines tomorrow. Don’t you just love a good rant? Makes me feel like it’s a new day!
Yours in angry, unjustified soap-box blogging,