March 29th, 2011
Inside the Robot Studio is back with our most beautiful metal diva, Aunt JulieBot! She might be a bit older than the others in our robot crowd, but she’s still got plenty of sass and a slammin’ robot frame. That robot is DANGEROUS, with her big booty and tiny waist.
Never trust a big butt and a smile. (Photo Credit: Peter Coombs)
I recently attempted to sit down with Aunt JulieBot for some afternoon tea (there’s a bit of maneuvering issue here, even if she’ll never admit it), right after she visited the local Home Depot for a brass and gold touch up. I could tell immediately that she’s quite the traditionalist. She likes her tea hot, her food separated into neat piles that do not allow any items to touch each other (because that would be less delicious!), and her hat always perfectly situated on her cold, shiny head. It was like having tea with a really hot, cranky grandma, that is, if I had a really hot, cranky grandma.
And now, the TEN QUESTIONS!
1. What is your favorite word? Parasol
2. What is your least favorite word? Spontaneity
3. What turns you on? A lovely pair of slippers. Nice and warm.
4. What turns you off? Those who do not remember their lines. Or who take it upon themselves to improvise a script. The world would be such a nicer place if we could just all say our lines as written, don’t you agree?
5. What sound do you love? The soft swish swish of dear Berta as she goes about her daily cleaning chores.
6. What sound do you hate? Well just between you and me, Hans (a.k.a. Eilert Loveborg) snores so loudly. When you are crammed up in that cupboard with him night after night….well it can be quite maddening.
7. What is your favorite curse word? Oh dear. Such a request. Alright…Poppycock. There I said it. Scandalous.
8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? I’d quite like to try my hand at what we in the “business” call stage managing. Just think – to keep all those people in line, nice and orderly. Our own stage manager does do a nice job. And he’s pretty easy on the eyes, if I do say so myself. Wait, what did I put down for question 3? Maybe I’ll change my answer to “A good stage manger.”
9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything where I may get my hands soiled. Doesn’t matter anyway, I can’t seem to let go of my darling parasol.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Aunt Rina’s been waiting for you, dear. She’s just put the kettle on.
I had WAY too many follow up questions for the tight lipped, proper Aunt JulieBot. Is she sleeping with Hans? Do they own a place together? Are they lovers for robots with benefits? How do robots make babies? What on earth is a poppycock? I did a Google image search and this showed up.
I tried to chase Aunt JulieBot to get some answers, but she wheeled away before I could get any of the real dirt. I was too lazy to chase her. I’m a really terrible reporter.
There are only four weekends left to see the amazing and spectacular robot troupe of Heddatron! Get your tickets here today! Shows are selling out fast, so I recommend snagging a pair while you still can!
Until next time, folks, stay safe, stay strong, and make good decisions.