March 15th, 2011
Welcome all to the second installment of Inside the Robot Studio.
Today’s subject – Judge Brack. Judge Brack is a pretty cool dude. One of our more unsung robot heroes, he dazzles on stage without much in the way of lines. But trust me, that robot has got some PRESENCE. Once you realize he’s there, he’s going to captivate your attention. Dazzle your senses. And possibly run over your feet.
Judge Brack takes his craft very, very seriously. As both an actor and a learned robot, Brack speaks with some type of indistinguishable, possibly British accent or, if he’s feeling clever, a series of images will pop up on his screen that you are then forced to decipher. Luckily he used his words when we met for a oddly romantic candlelight dinner at a fantastic little french bistro in Chicago. I had a really nice time with Judge Brack, until he started putting suggestive videos on his screen. AWKWARD. Regardless, I found out he’s a robot of morals (even if some of them are loose) who loves the law the way a fat kid loves cake. Passionately.
Here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for. The Ten Questions.
1. What is your favorite word? Justice.
2. What is your least favorite word? Injunction.
3. What turns you on? Yea, verily I say that the power of the federal and county court system doth seem most pleasing to my circuits.
4. What turns you off? The forces of corruption that run rampant in our society.
5. What sound do you love? I say unto you that the gavel pounding upon the block in righteous judgment doth bring a most cleansing sound to my audio receptors.
6. What sound do you hate? Arguments from those that thus stand accused.
7. What is your favorite curse word? FIREHELLSTORMDRAGONJUSTINBIEBERBABYWRATH
8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Truly, I admire those that serve as baliffs. Alas, I am a short and squat public servant, though I do long to rise above my humble stature and bring my wroth wrath down upon those that would make a mockery of common decency.
9. What profession would you not like to do? How could one live with oneself if oneself were in the employ of tax real estate law?
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Yea Judge Brack hear my words that you might listen to them and understand from the hearing – thy burden is at an end. Thou has judged righteously and banged thy gavel with much purpose. Enter, and rest your Justice-ometer upon my heavenly bosom.
Catch all the glory that is Judge Brack at Heddatron! We’ve got a show this Thursday (St. Patrick’s day) or Sunday, both at 8pm. Get your tickets now, because these tickets are selling like hot cakes! Delicious, yummy hot cakes.