December 22nd, 2011
Every once in awhile I troll Google analytics and then get a big ol’ kick out of the crazy ways that people get to our site. Usually people find us by Googling the obvious words related to sideshow or our productions, but my favorites are those folks who Google something COMPLETELY UNRELATED but still end up going to our site, and sometimes spending significant amounts of time on it (in internet time, which runs differently from regular time).
I decided, what better way to reflect on 2011 then checking out our top search terms, and then my favorite WHY THE SHIT DID YOU GOOGLE THAT AND GO TO OUR WEBSITE terms. The list varies in such glorious ways.
Sideshow’s Top Search Terms:
1) sideshow theatre – well duh.
2) Heddatron – proving yet again, people love robots more than humans.
3) sideshow theatre company – way to be creative, internet information seekers.
4) (not provided) – apparently Google analytics likes to get sneaky. What is this bullshit?!!!???!?
5) sideshow theater – HURRAH! People know our name.
Ok, so that list is kind of boring. Except for #4, shrouded in mystery and never to be known except to the weird internet gods. Whatever.
Let’s get to the more interesting list. Here’s a list of WTF Random Crap People Googled and came to the Sideshow site. I couldn’t number them, they are all too good.
ugly creatures made out of felt – Alright, we did see a show called The Ugly One. This sort of makes sense.
ugly ass turtle – Ok, that’s just weird.
ugly unique animals – This guy has a heart. He doesn’t mind that the animals are ugly, as long as they are special.
turtle spandex – I sure hope this is the same guy who Googled ugly ass turtle. I now imagine he has an incredibly overweight turtle that embarrasses him daily.
stupid guy naked – not only did this search term get us two hits, but they spent a few minutes on our site, searching endlessly for the numerous photos we have of stupid naked guys.
no rat dancing – why not dancing rats, hmmm?
angry cat exercise – possibly my favorite. I laughed so hard I started to choke.
neighbors who wrestle each other – I would really like to see this!
cat bacon space – if a perfect world, maybe?
cute animals saying i love you – clearly, the internet musing of a 10 year old girl.
classic headless lady tricks – this dumb ass didn’t already know the classic headless lady tricks? Because everyone knows that. Moron.
black spots in my dog’s nipples – expert veterinarian advice, brought to you by Sideshow Theatre Company.
There you have it. I hope this gives you a few giggles as you make your holiday travels. Happy New Year, and God Bless America!