Explaining the Unexplainable

April 17th, 2012

Artistic Director Jonathan L. Green and Executive Director Megan A. Smith discuss whose middle initial is better at a recent Ensemble meeting.

It’s a big scary world out there. And sometimes you need explanations. Sometimes things happen, and they just don’t make sense, be they the sickness of a loved one or the disappearance of honey bees or the sinking of the Titanic. (Ha! Just kidding. The Titanic sank because icebergs love irony.) With so many things happening every day, it can be easy to feel lost in a swirl of activity, with every new event as nonsensical as the last.

But that’s where Sideshow comes in. As theatre artists, it often falls upon us to explain the unexplainable. To process the deeper meanings of seemingly incoherent events, and ensure that our audiences can rest at night under a cozy blanket of Deep Meaning. And so, when something like Buzzfeed’s 50 Unexplainable Black & White Photos list gets posted,well, let’s just say that we here at Sideshow feel like a gauntlet has been thrown. Unexplainable, you say? Balderdash! There’s a perfectly clear explanation for each of those photos! Allow us to elucidate on a few:

This picture was taken shortly after Professor Trontonium completed his Human-Mosquito hybrid experiment in a quest for world domination. As suspected, mosquitos are jerks, and this one stole the Professor’s bicycle.

Here we see a college course teaching a dark variant of Calculus, developed by Sir Isaac Newton’s evil twin, Jeff. Jeff was something of a drinker.

Pandas are terrible at soccer.

This was taken moments after the beginning of the First Annual Ride-a-Barrell-Over-Niagara-Falls Derby. For the Second Annual derby, the rules were rewritten and contestants were allowed to begin with their barrels in the water, rather than dragging them overland for five miles first.

In matters of the heart, bears are surprisingly adroit listeners.

These penguins are going to eat that girl.

And there you have it, folks. What’d I tell you? For every picture is a story, and for every story, well, there’s Sideshow. Except the boring stories. Those we don’t do so much. Maybe try somebody else if you want to be bored. Like this guy:

God Gunther ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR STAMP COLLECTION ALREADY WE GET IT