The Sideshow Blerg

The Blog of Sideshow Theatre Company

Today, in weird Google analytics news…

December 22nd, 2011

Hi Readers,

Every once in awhile I troll Google analytics and then get a big ol’ kick out of the crazy ways that people get to our site. Usually people find us by Googling the obvious words related to sideshow or our productions, but my favorites are those folks who Google something COMPLETELY UNRELATED but still end up going to our site, and sometimes spending significant amounts of time on it (in internet time, which runs differently from regular time).

I decided, what better way to reflect on 2011 then checking out our top search terms, and then my favorite WHY THE SHIT DID YOU GOOGLE THAT AND GO TO OUR WEBSITE terms. The list varies in such glorious ways.

Sideshow’s Top Search Terms:

1) sideshow theatre – well duh.

2) Heddatron – proving yet again, people love robots more than humans.

3) sideshow theatre company – way to be creative, internet information seekers.

4) (not provided) – apparently Google analytics likes to get sneaky. What is this bullshit?!!!???!?

5) sideshow theater – HURRAH! People know our name.

Ok, so that list is kind of boring. Except for #4, shrouded in mystery and never to be known except to the weird internet gods. Whatever.

Let’s get to the more interesting list. Here’s a list of WTF Random Crap People Googled and came to the Sideshow site. I couldn’t number them, they are all too good.

ugly creatures made out of felt – Alright, we did see a show called The Ugly One. This sort of makes sense.

ugly ass turtle – Ok, that’s just weird.

ugly unique animals – This guy has a heart. He doesn’t mind that the animals are ugly, as long as they are special.

turtle spandex – I sure hope this is the same guy who Googled ugly ass turtle. I now imagine he has an incredibly overweight turtle that embarrasses him daily.

stupid guy naked – not only did this search term get us two hits, but they spent a few minutes on our site, searching endlessly for the numerous photos we have of stupid naked guys.

no rat dancing – why not dancing rats, hmmm?

angry cat exercise – possibly my favorite. I laughed so hard I started to choke.

neighbors who wrestle each other – I would really like to see this!

cat bacon space – if a perfect world, maybe?

cute animals saying i love you – clearly, the internet musing of a 10 year old girl.

classic headless lady tricks – this dumb ass didn’t already know the classic headless lady tricks? Because everyone knows that. Moron.

black spots in my dog’s nipples – expert veterinarian advice, brought to you by Sideshow Theatre Company.

There you have it. I hope this gives you a few giggles as you make your holiday travels. Happy New Year, and God Bless America!

Ms. Megan

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Who Doesn’t Love the Holidays?

December 19th, 2011

Nobody respects you, puppy.

Greetings readers!

We are reaching the end of the time-suck vortex that is the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years. As we snack on cookies, fruitcake (blech), hot chocolate, brats, bagels, Frango chocolates, and if you are lucky enough, a deep fried turkey, it might also be a good time to hit the gym. And reflect on the past year.

It’s been a really fun 2011 for Sideshow. We pulled off the seemingly impossible feat of creating 5 huge, fully functional robots and even put them in an entertaining play! Our Heddatron actors and robots put on a great show, and we’re ever thankful to Steppenwolf for their wonderful GARAGE REP program. We’re looking forward to seeing three new companies take over the Garage in February 2012!

Our robots didn’t stop there! They attended quite a few events this year, including robotics conventions in the Chicago suburbs, and two events with the Chicago Humanities Festival! The robots are getting too fancy for their Public Storage space, if you ask me.

Also, as I gloss over my google calendar, I am reminded of our FOUR CLLAW matches. Moving venues from Joe’s Bar to Club 162, our matches continue to grow, and so do our ladies’ biceps. We’ve partnered with such great companies like ArtReach, CLAW USA and About Face Theater – we’re blessed with such a supportive community who wants to drink heavily for three hours and throw money at ladies arm wrestling. God bless America.

Sideshow ventured into the culmination of our first company devised work, Strangerland, and our first fringe festival experience with the Chicago Fringe Festival. The trips down to Pilsen were a delight, and it was wonderful to be part of a theatrical experience introducing other Chicago artists and folks all across the U.S.  Sideshow was also introduced to the spoils of Simone’s Bar, a wonderful Pilsen establishment whose brazilian hanger cocktail is on special on Thursdays.

Launching from one project to another, we opened The Ugly One on the heels of Strangerland and got to work with new artists, past artists, and produce a short, silly, poignant little play that makes Nip/Tuck look like child’s play. Now that it’s closed, I think it’s safe for me to mention my favorite part of the show – the dude on dude kissing. Duh.

Sideshow’s family has grown tremendously in 2011. We brought on Ben Dawson as our Production Manager, who makes sure our shows uh, actually happen. And within budget too. It’s pretty magical. We have a new board member, Daniel Reid, whose business savvy brain makes us look oh-so-good. We also have five new Artistic Associates, from actors to dramaturgs to playwrights, who will mix it up with our current Artistic Associates and certainly challenge and grow our work in the near future.

Man oh man. What a lovely trip down memory lane. My favorite part? You. You came to see our shows. You drank your face off at CLLAW. You donated to our Center Ring. You loved us in town, or from afar. You volunteered your time when we needed help, and partied with us when we needed to cut loose. You sent us postcards that made us smile, or gave us expert advice when we found ourselves in a mental pickle. You know who you are. You know that you are awesome. But I’m telling you anyway, because who doesn’t like a compliment?

Here’s to 2012. May it kick as many if not more asses than 2011.

xoxo,

Ms. Megan

PS – If you were trying to figure out what to get me for Christmas, I’d love one of these:

The hat please. Not the adorable Korean child.

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An Ugly(cute) Sign of the Times

October 13th, 2011

We live in an image culture. There’s just no denying it. With each passing day, the old adage grows less and less true: in this modern world it’s nigh impossible to ignore the exterior and obey our thirsts. (Even if we really, really, really like Sprite.) What happened to the good old days? The innocent, carefree times, when nobody cared about looks and nobody pretended that beauty was objective?

I’ll tell you what happened. They never existed, that’s what happened. But it’s easier to feel despairing about it today, because the Internet lets everything be judged instantaneously. If you don’t meet a basic standard of beauty, and you go to the wrong place on the web, well boy howdy, you’ll get told real damn quick. And the people telling you will probably find some way to compare you to Hitler, as well.

Which is all very disheartening, isn’t it? We can’t even pretend to exist beyond image, because there’s no way to escape judgement, even for a second. The Internet has ruined everything.

But it has also fixed everything, as the Internet is wont to do. And it has fixed it in an unexpected way: by creating an entirely new genre of thing: the Uglycute. Observe:


Look at that guy. Really take a good look. He’s hideous, isn’t he? And yet cuddleable. You want to cuddle with him. I know you do. I do, too. We all do. We want to make a big cuddle pile on top, and keep him warm, because his abjectly horrific lack of body hair means that he can’t face the cold, cruel world alone. We want to protect him, but are also repulsed by him. And that’s where the hope comes from. Because we look at that pathetic whatever-it-is, and all of our image-conscious hardwiring shorts out, and before we know it we’re snuggling up to something that has more in common with a wallet than a living animal.

And that’s really inspiring. It means that there’s a chance for us. That we’re not lost forever in surface concerns. Uglycute reminds us that even though we spend hours agonizing over which lighting angle is best for our Facebook profile picture, we can still find love in our hearts for a little four-legged fetus with a truncated elephant snout. We can escape the cold, clinical, looks-obsessed world depicted so chillingly in The Ugly One, and we can find cuteness, even beauty, in things that might technically be ugly. We can fight the oppression of image. Even in the case of something ugly. Really, hideously, grossly disgustingly ugly.

Seriously, take another look at that thing.


It’s repulsive. It’s horrific. I want a million of them. I want to hug them all. And then maybe throw up. Throw up love.

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